Through the Clouds...

I Corinthians 13:12 "Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known"

Hi! I know I said I would try to work on getting some current video and pictures on here and I will...soon...really! For now I thought I'd give an update that I forgot to include on the previous post. When we were in Boston in October for Selah's surgeries we did meet with two members of the Craniofacial and Plastic Surgery Team. We met them informally to just briefly discuss our history of looking into jaw surgeries and where we are currently...which is unsure of what or where or who or when...ha but really! Basically we left it as we would schedule formal appointments and evaluations with the team in the Spring, when we plan to come back for her other hand surgery. So, we didn't leave really with any clarity on our next step for those surgeries but we did get a feel for whether or not it was a location we wanted to start pursuing the surgeries at. We both think we definitely want to meet with all the team when we are back up there and discuss the options and recommendations.
With that being said the weight of those surgeries and all that it entails is heavy on my mind and my heart most often at night...when I'm still and it all just hits. I think about how badly sweet Selah just wants to tell me with her words what she wants me to know. She has so much in there and she sure tries with her signing and at times her iPad but she often just wants me to hear and understand that sweet and persistent little voice. It hurts me that she can't tell me the words. I think about her teeth that are on her lower jaw and wonder if they are OK or if they may fall out, like baby teeth...what then!? I wonder if they are causing trauma anywhere in her mouth since they're just fixed there and I just want to be able to help her and to protect her. And believe me when I say that I would NOT change a thing about my beautiful baby girl...created in God's image...but it hurts that some out there don't see her that way and they make it apparent. I try to overlook the stares, the ones where they don't smile but just gawk, but I'd like to give them a hefty throat punch, ha. I also try to overlook the kiddos that ask awkward questions or just can't turn there head because they're staring at her. This weekend we were in a public place and there were three little girls that went out of there way to look at Selah. They proceeded to start to make fun of the way she looked and snicker to each other. I was taking this all in from a distance and thankfully Selah didn't have a clue...she never does. I wanted to snatch them up and be a little "nasty" but I just sat there...heart broken even more than mad...it hurts my mama heart...
Now I know that's heavy and I don't mean it to get pity or "woe is me" or anything like that...really! It's just all been heavy on my heart..more so here lately. God, being the personal and attentive Heavenly Father He is, has continued to remind to lean into Him...to keep my eyes looking up to Him..to believe and give it to Him...
Here recently we were driving and it was a overcast morning and it was cold and bleak. I looked up there was a break in the clouds and through it was some sunlight...those beams that seem like Heaven is shining down. God reassured me to keep looking up, to keep looking to Him, and to trust that His light and His ways and His goodness will always shine through. He is greater than all those "clouds" that cover and He is enough...He always will be...
So, I'm trying to do that...look up and give thanks for the abundant blessings in my life and for His ever faithful provision. I look into sweet Selah's eyes and I hear that beautiful voice and I try to just rest in the awe of that....just as it is...
Thank you for your continued support and prayers...I'll be back soon..much loves to you!