Special Moment

On Sunday, September 18th we were able to celebrate Selah's baby dedication at our church here in Hattiesburg. It was a special day...a longed for and prayed for moment. For a long while now I've sat in the audience and watched the family on stage while they celebrated their baby dedication. I would be thankful for their celebration but at the same time my heart would break for the two miscarriages we've had and the shattered dreams and hopes that came along with those experiences. My heart would ache for the family and baby we've wanted and I would sit there, fighting back tears, silently asking God if we would ever be "the family on the stage"...having that moment...that celebration. Well, we were blessed to share that moment and we are truly thankful and humbled. Now, I have to give you a little recap of the morning of. We fed Selah very early hoping that all the vomit she does would come up and be done with before the service...due to her reflux. We took her in nothing but her diaper so she didn't soak her clothes if she spit up...so we had our "fashion show" in the car when we got there...trying to decide what to wear. We brought her headband/bow but forgot her shoes. She managed to get hold of her headband though and unraveled some of it...under her daddy's watch :). We made it though...on time! It was a special moment seeing Jeff...our pastor...hold her and pray over her too. He came to see her when she was in the UMC NICU and he prayed over her...they also have the same birthday...so he says they have a special bond. She did so good...no vomit. The verse we've claimed over her and the one she and I read daily now was the verse read. We stood there and I tried to take it all in instead of trying to have it all "together"...to take in the moment...to just be in awe of the grace that's gotten us here.
On that note, I was in the car shortly after her dedication and a song that is such a blessing came on K-LOVE. It's by David Crowder..."Oh How He Loves"...I think. There's a line or two that really sticks out and resonates in my mind quite often..."Oh how He loves...and all of the sudden I am aware of all the afflictions eclipsed by glory...oh how He loves"... There's been several times where God has spoken through these words but on this day He spoke specific to Selah and the dedication and being able to celebrate that moment. From the beginning of the pregnancy it was uncertain how things would go...at least to us it was...not Him. At delivery it was uncertain as to how it will all work out. Now as we face daily things and as I look into the future...surgeries, her health and development, how it will all work out...it seems uncertain. But, when I stop and think and listen to Him I am reminded that none of it is uncertain to Him. He reminded me of the many "afflictions eclipsed by glory" that have occured and still are...things that could've happened but haven't, blessings all around us. All of the sudden my awareness of them was awakened...wake up Blair. For example, her reflux has been really bad...or so it seems. Despite it though she isn't aspirating and she hasn't gotten pneumonia...she's staying healthy, gaining weight, and she's at home instead of having to be in the hospital...an affliction eclipsed by His glory and goodness, His grace... I hope this makes sense????
So, all that to say, we are so thankful for where we are at right now in all of it. Yes, my faith and hope fade at times and my strength definitely does. But again, God reminds me to rest in Him, to "cease striving," and to be thankful by faith and trust...He has got it...
A verse I read the other day really stuck out, specific to this topic. I'm going to share how He spoke to me and I hope it makes sense...
"Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my savior. The sovereign Lord is my strength; He makes my feet like the feet of a deer, He enables me to go on the heights" Habakkuk 3:17-19
....though circumstances are uncertain and how things will work out are unseen...God provides...though things aren't going according to "my" plans or all as I would have it...God calls me to be thankful in faith and trust and joy and peace then reside in me...we will not be consumed or overwhelmed in any of it and we will not be defeated...He is holding us and His hand is on us....He calls us to enjoy the sweet moments along the way....:)

Much Love to you!!!