Well, don't be shocked that I'm back so soon...wow, I know! :) I read my most recent post and felt the need to clarify just a little. It may or may not be needed but it's something I believe is necessary. Anyway, I did not intend to dismiss or overlook some of the caring and more than willing people in our lives...that are more than happy to try to give us a helping hand. So, I thought I'd offer a little shout out...of gratitude. I've had a few friends that are fully capable and so willing to help with Selah. They have offered on more than one occasion to spend time with her so that I can get some errands done or get a haircut or go to a doctor's appointment. They've also offered to give Spencer and I a date while they watched miss prissy. It's been more on our end that it's not worked out. We're trying to balance and coordinate all that we have going on...mainly Spencer...with the fire hall, military, and then other odd jobs. One friend in particular has told me, much more than once, that she wants to help when she can but I've yet to work it out with her...Leslie. :) She has been so willing despite all that she is balancing herself...she's a hardworking wife, mama, and student. Leslie and some other sweet friends are here to try to serve us and it's because they love Selah and us I know. I didn't mean to seem to dismiss or overlook that at all! And many others offer support and love in various ways and it's all truly humbling and appreciated!
And I do not mean to fixate on this topic, but it's a challenge, if I'm being honest, to try to find consistent help...even if it's just occasional. Again, there are some I know will try to help if I give them the opportunity. It's something, as I mentioned in my other post, that I've struggled with being very frustrated and defeated over though. There are times where I do feel discouraged because I've got a doctor appointment, etc. and just haven't gotten care for Selah worked out yet. And, I will own up to it and admit that I'm not "letting go" too easily. Yes, like many mamas, I've got a ton of scenarios that go through my head and a ton of things I think of as to why I shouldn't leave Selah with anyone else. Some of them I feel fully justified in, ha! :) It's so hard for me...words cannot express! We were told in the NICU by the staff that cared for Selah and trained us in her care, about all the precautions that need to be taken, the scenarios to "prepare" for, and so forth; needless to say, it's not that easy for me to just let go and not have concerns. I know that not only do I want to be comfortable with someone but I also want them to be more than comfortable in their ability to take care of Selah and the medical needs she has. This isn't easy and is yet to come about. And I hope it doesn't seem that I want a nanny or anything, ha. And,I truly hope it doesn't seem like I'm complaining...I guess I am though. I just mean it gets frustrating and discouraging at times because we do have to consider the care we need to have for her...even if it's just occasional...and it just involves a little more than the "typical" kiddo care. Yes, she is a typical on the verge of toddler-hood kiddo but she's also got some extra medical needs that require a little bit more knowledge than just changing that diaper and keeping her from sticking spoons in the sockets. :) I'm just praying about it and still asking God to bring forth who He knows is willing, capable, comfortable, and so in love with our sweet girl that it's evident they'll only take the best care of her. And He is teaching me to be aware and open to the different forms of care and rest that He brings forth...they are often not what I expect...but thankfully I'm learning much more than I can ask or imagine. And, He is also trying to teach me to embrace the loving hands that long to serve and love on us...if only we'll receive it...
Thanks for your prayers and support!! Pictures are soon to come! :)
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